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KIDS ages 6-11. God gave us so many feelings. Let's learn how to best express and process them. And what about this new feeling- Attraction?
Each child develops differently. This lesson is for Kids 6-11. Feel free to use the lesson that best fits your child’s needs!
Take a moment to prepare yourself before sitting down together with your child. Pre-read the lesson, pray and reflect on the outcomes you wish to achieve. You may want to divide this lesson into two or even spread it out over several conversations. **Make sure to check out all the awesome links and resources at the bottom of the lesson!
PURPOSE
To help my child learn about our God given emotions and feelings. How to best express and process them. And what to do with these new found feelings- attraction.
MATERIALS
A cozy spot to share together
This lesson
Pen and paper. M&Ms.
INSPIRATION
“What is the foundation of unity? Certainly not people. Nor is it just words. It must be based on feelings. It's like a couple in love . . . . What makes them united? They are united on emotional feelings. Isn't that so? Without emotion, it's just an empty shell… Friends feel friendship. Can there be friends without friendship? No, there can't be. People feel patriotism toward their country. When people feel patriotic toward their country, that love for their country can unite them into one people. Don't you think so? Love is the foundation of unity and also of happiness. Without unity there is no happiness. Don't mothers and fathers become one to be happy? Parents and children must become one to be happy. What happiness can we find in a family in disarray? What happiness in a family that quarrels among themselves all the time? They don't know what happiness is. There is no unity without love, and no happiness without unity. How can we attain happiness? First, two people must become one. When one weeps, so does the other. When one laughs, so does the other. When one goes, so does the other. How can two people become one? Through feelings of emotion.
-Sun Myung Moon, Way of Unification- Unity Through Love
”The sixth sense is your heart. All six senses unite centered on love which is the seventh level. When you have a crush on someone, you say your eyes or senses meet each other.”
- Sun Myung Moon, God and I
ATTENTION GRABBER
Choose 1:
EMOJIS: Set a timer for 1 or 2 minutes- and parent and child both draw as many emojis as possible on separate sheets of paper. After 1 min- see how many you drew and explain what each emoji is feeling!
M&Ms: Put out a pile of M&Ms. Take turns closing your eyes and grabbing 1 M&M. Before you can eat it- share about a feeling associated with that color M&M using this key: Feel free to swap out feelings to your family’s needs.
Red: What makes you feel angry?
Brown: What makes you feel nervous?
Green: What makes you feel proud?
Yellow: What makes you feel happy?
Blue: What makes you feel relaxed?
Orange: What makes you feel shy?
INTRODUCTION
God gives us so many feelings. Feelings help us to understand and experience this beautiful life. Some feelings are exciting and wonderful, others are challenging and help us learn and grow. Feelings help us to express ourselves. God gave us our 5 senses, and it is often said we have a 6th sense- the sense of our heart. As we grow up we begin to get new feelings in our heart- like a “crush” towards the opposite sex. And sometimes we just don’t know what to do with all these new feelings! So let’s open our hearts and share about that today.
**Note to parents: Today we have a “Part 1: Emotions” and a “Part 2: New Feelings of Attraction”. You can choose to do them all in one sitting or use this for 2 separate conversations with your child.
*LEARNING MOMENT- READ TOGETHER:
PART 1: EMOTIONS
There is a saying to “get in touch with our emotions”. What does this mean? Sometimes it can feel overwhelming. Each of us experiences and understands feelings differently. Some of us “wear our emotions on our sleeve”. This means you open up easily and let others know how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking about. You share your heart- your ups and downs openly. Others are more closed off and close up into a shell. They have a hard time “letting others in”. Sometimes they want to be strong for others, and not appear weak so they keep all of their feelings inside. Other times, they simply don’t know how to express their feelings and show them and be vulnerable or they don’t even understand their own emotions.
Where do you feel you’re at? How do you process your emotions? Do you let your family know when you’re upset or hurt? Do you like to talk about it or receive cuddles and hugs? Or do you prefer to sit quietly in your room alone and mediate in peace?
Neither is wrong. God created us all uniquely, which means that we all experience emotions and process them differently. What’s important is to find a healthy balance with our emotions. Especially as we grow up into pre-teens and our hormones and more new emotions kick in! It’s important to learn to be in control of our feelings and have personal space when needed. But it’s equally important to be able to share what’s on our heart and mind with those we love most, especially our parents. Because they care about you- are on your side- and want to be there for you. If we keep questions, thoughts, doubts, stories in our head and never share it out loud with our parents- how can they know what you’re going through? How can they help you?
So what do we do with all of these emotions? Let’s learn the best ways to express our emotions with others: Choose a few or share about all of the emotions listed.
Anger, frustration: Take deep breaths, count to 20. Set up a “cool down” center and squeeze something like a stress ball, playdoh or spin a fidget spinner. Cry into a pillow or your parents’ arms if you need to. Or exercise until you feel relaxed again. Take a deep breath and know everything will be ok.
Impatience: Remember that good things come to those who wait. Sometimes it’s hard to be patient and wait for your turn or wait for your birthday that comes around once a year. In the time of waiting- get creative and busy and productive! Give yourself small awards along the way like stickers. Remember lots of baby steps lead to big milestones.
Sadness, loneliness: Cuddle up and share your heart with mom or dad or your favorite stuffed animal. It’s ok to feel sad sometimes. Read a book for distraction, look at photos, listen to a happy tune, think of a favorite memory, talk to God, or call a relative like Grandma.
Feeling unheard or misunderstood: Take deep breaths. Repeat what you were trying to say slowly and clearly or write it down instead and share it again with the person who misunderstood what you meant to say. Practice patience and keep explaining until they fully heard and understood what you wanted to say. Try to keep a calm tone of voice.
Jealousy: Remind yourself that God has a plan for each of us. We all achieve or receive things at different times in our lives and at a different pace. Try not to judge something your friend may have that you don’t have. Or if feeling jealous and left out, take a moment to hug a lovey, share your heart with your parents and remember how loved you are.
Feeling criticized: Take a moment to love yourself with a hug. You are valuable and loved in God’s eyes. Consider why your friend or teacher may have said what they said. Is there something that you could learn from the criticism and make something positive out of it? If someone was mean and critical without any good intentions to try to help you- practice relaxation, meditation and forgiveness. Take deep breaths. Forgive others and believe in yourself.
Remember, if you go through any of these feelings- you can always come to mom or dad for a hug! If you’re not ready to express your heart and talk about it- sometimes a silent hug is all you need. If you’re ready- share your heart through words and talk with your parents or a trusted adult. It’s always good to go through hard times and challenges together. You are not alone.
How about sharing our positive feelings? Those should be celebrated and shared with others too!
Feeling proud, accomplished, successful: Let yourself sit in the moment and feel proud! Tell God and your parents of your accomplishments! Give yourself a pat on the back. Show that certificate or medal to your family and friends. (Be careful not to become boastful where you’re too proud that you brag in front of others.) But share your success with a humble heart. And celebrate your friends and siblings’ successes too!
Happy, joyful: Share it with the world! Smile to brighten someone’s day! With this positive spirit- spread the joy and be a helper to someone else. Take a photo to remember the moment or draw a picture of your happy feelings.
Grateful, thankful: When you’re feeling thankful share it with someone else! Write a thank you note, draw a picture, pick a wildflower bouquet and give it to someone you’re thankful for. You can also keep a gratitude journal or say a prayer to God.
Creative: Whether it’s a science project, craft, a song, dance or poem. When you’re feeling creative- find a calm, supportive environment to let your creativity flow! God wants you to create through your gifts and talents!
God is so happy when you are happy! Your parents want you to be filled with positive feelings. So when you’re feeling good- pass it on and share that glow with others.
PART 2: NEW FEELINGS! (Attraction)
God gave us all of these amazing feelings so that we can experience the world and our lives more fully. God also gave us another type of feeling and that is attraction, or "liking someone". As you grow up you start to experience these new feelings! Boys- you may be playing with your friend and suddenly start to see her as pretty and notice her eyes, beautiful hair or newly developing curves. Girls- your friend may be listening to you and it comforts you and you suddenly appreciate his kindness, smile, funny jokes and cologne in a new way. You may experience new feelings of shyness, feeling bashful, the desire to look good, impress and long to spend more time together enjoying each other’s attention.
As we grow up, we begin to have special feelings of longing towards someone of the opposite sex. We call this a “crush”. The first thing you need to know is that it is natural. It is okay. It is allowed and normal. Believe it or not, even your mom and dad had crushes when they were kids! We develop these feelings because God designed us to grow in love one day and receive God’s abundant blessings through marriage to our future spouse! God designed us to live in pairs- male and female- and create truly beautiful families. God wants every one of His children to come together with their future spouse in happiness and love. Even animals have pairs- male and female and plants have stamen and pistil, the male and female part of a plant. It is a part of God our Heavenly Parent’s natural design.
”The sixth sense is your heart. All six senses unite centered on love which is the seventh level. When you have a crush on someone, you say your eyes or senses meet each other.”
- Sun Myung Moon, God and I
While it is natural to have these feelings. It is up to you to choose what to do with them. As you continue to grow up- these emotions will continue to develop and grow. This is a part of your body going through puberty and preparing itself to be married one day and create a family with your future spouse. As you develop feelings of attraction for a friend at school, church or a neighbor- let your mom or dad know. Share with your parents like you would with a best friend- because they’ve been there too and experienced the same thing you're experiencing now and can give you valuable tips that can help you out as you navigate new territory!
While it’s natural to have a crush on someone, it’s good to find ways to still treat your crush as just a friend, a brother or sister. Because you are still in the growth stage- sibling realm of heart- you’re not emotionally or physically ready to give and receive the kind of love a husband and wife give each other. You will be ready one day- and that will be an exciting day! You WILL get to share your heart, hold hands and flirt one day. And you want to save those moments and “firsts” for your future spouse. (For more on how to resist dating, relationships, if your child is ready for more- see the youth/teen lesson!)
“Without emotion, it's just an empty shell… Friends feel friendship. Can there be friends without friendship? No, there can't be.” - Rev. Sun Myung Moon
To experience the best life, follow God’s Way! God loves you and created you. He also created your future spouse and can’t wait for you to meet him or her one day and grow in love together. Until then, make lots of friends! You can create great memories with your friends- boys and girls in Elementary school. And respect each other as sons and daughters of God. You can learn a lot through your friendships; there is no need for you to date and have a boyfriend or girlfriend. It is too much for your heart to understand and deal with at this time in your life. Instead- focus on becoming the best child you can be- learn a lot, infuse your talents with passion and creativity- whether it’s dancing, sports, art or music! Find your gifts and grow your heart and talents. Pray and learn about God and invest in positive friendships.
Save your heart and all of those beautiful new feelings for your future spouse that you will meet one day and create a beautiful family with! If it helps- draw, write or pray about your feelings!
And work on developing your heart so that you can be a great husband or wife one day! Are you ready to be a husband or wife now? No! That’s too much work. Enjoy childhood and becoming the best person you can be. Practice giving and receiving with others. Learn to process and share your feelings and emotions with others in a positive way. Find what passions and talents your heart leads you to that you can start developing now.
DISCUSSION
Use these questions to dig deeper or stimulate additional ongoing conversations:
When you’re feeling happy, excited, proud, accomplished- we should share those feelings with others. What are some ways we can make sure to share in those good feelings together as parent & child?
What helps you when you are feeling sad or lonely?
What helps you when you are feeling upset, angry, frustrated, impatient? What are healthy ways to express these feelings? How can I be there for you?
Parent: tell your child about your first crush
Parent: share about the feelings you developed for your husband or wife when you first met.
Do you have a crush or have you felt attraction? What is it like for you? Do you have any questions?
Discuss some ways to channel our feelings in a positive way, especially when it comes to desiring a crush. How can we honor those natural God given feelings but also save them for our future spouse?
As our heart is not prepared to love someone the way a husband and wife do in marriage, how can we work to see others as our brothers and sisters?
CONCLUSION
God gave us feelings and emotions so that we can express ourselves and our heart. Through sharing our feelings we can create harmony in our friendships with others. It’s important to learn how to best deal with our positive and negative emotions. Let’s practice learning how to cope with the harder emotions like anger, sadness or loneliness. And let’s share our feelings of joy, excitement and love with others! Your heart will feel even happier when you share a happy moment with someone else. :) God created us to interact and share with others.
God also gave us special feelings of attraction. These are natural and a part of growing up into maturity. We want to save our heart for our future spouse. So it’s important to be aware of what part of our heart and feelings we are sharing with others. Let’s treat everyone as a brother or sister and enjoy our friendships. One day you will get to share your heart fully with your future spouse. How exciting!
PRAYER
Dear God my Heavenly Parent, thank you for giving us feelings and emotions to help me express myself and what’s going on inside of my heart. Help me to share my joy with others and help me to know when to lean on mom or dad when I feel sad or lonely. Help me to learn to express my feelings in a positive way. We love you God. Thank you for creating us and giving us a beautiful heart. We can’t wait to share that heart with our future spouse one day. Please bless my future spouse as they protect their heart for me.
Use these activities together with your child today and over the next month to create ongoing conversations. Click on the red links:
VIDEOS
You and Your Feelings! A School of Love Animation
Animated Short Film HD " WATCH YOUR FEELINGS " Powerful Short film on the strong feeling of hate and how to overcome it with forgiveness and love.
Why do we have feelings? - Feelings and Emotions for Kids | Educational Videos by Mocomi Why do we have feelings? This video shares about the difference between emotions and feelings. And how feelings help differentiate us from animals and advance our world!
Identify the emotion… Great guessing game with time for “think-pair-share” a moment for parent and child to guess together using clips from Inside Out
CRAFTS
Thinking Mat: Create a diy new sew “sit upon” spot together.
Calm Down Jar: Create a sensory jar or bottle.
Playdoh: Make your own playdoh!
JOURNAL
Creative Writing
Keep a journal for your future spouse. Inside of it- draw pictures, write poems, songs, letters to your future spouse.
Create a parent & child journal. Where the child can express without judgment their feelings and the parents can respond. Sometimes, it is easier and less confrontational to express oneself in writing.
FREE PRINTABLES
ACTIVITIES
Song List- create different song lists together. A soothing song list for reflection or a feel good playlist for times you need a joy boost.
EXPERIENCES
Parents or Grandparents-
Find a photo album of photos from your own childhood. Share the photos with your child and the different feelings and experiences you went through in those moments.
Share about your feelings and emotions when you met your husband or wife! How did it feel? What was exciting and thrilling? Why is it worth it to wait to share those feelings?