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KIDS ages 6-11. Kids- did you know you can ask your parents ANYTHING? God gave us family to grow and learn in. The parent- child bond is a special part of shaping us as children and who we grow up to be.
Take a moment to prepare yourself before sitting down together with your child. Pre-read the lesson, pray and reflect on the outcomes you wish to achieve. You may want to divide this lesson into two or even spread it out over several conversations. **Make sure to check out all the awesome links and resources at the bottom of the lesson!
Each child develops differently. This lesson is for Kids 6-11. Feel free to use the lesson that best fits your child’s needs!
**NOTE: Feel free to adjust this lesson to your family’s needs. For instance, If you’re a single parent or if you’re in a parental role to a child.
PURPOSE
To strengthen the parent-child bond. (Through vulnerability, openess, asking questions, listening and unconditional love.)
To help children understand that they can always ask their parents anything!
MATERIALS
A cozy spot to share together
This lesson
Family photos
INSPIRATION
On Parent-Child Relationship:
“Everyone is born from two parents; no one is his own origin. Centering upon the parents' love, the children come into existence. The cells of the embryo multiply hundreds of billions of times to form a new baby. What is the value of that child? His value comes from the fact that he is a participant and a part of his parents' love. Our lives depend entirely upon the love of our parents; if our parents did something to exclude us from their love, we would never have existed. There is no form of life which does not naturally seek to produce its fruit, its offspring.”
- Sun Myung Moon, The Purpose of Life Coming and Going
To give an explanation of the child: he is the one who has the right to attend the love which holds the Universe together, like an adhesive. It is like, "I know now what all of mom's and dad's love was?" Since you are at the root of father's and mother's love, you have the right to pull your parents along wherever you go. Isn't it so? That is what sons and daughters are like. Do you act like this? That is why if there is anything wrong with the daughter, mothers and fathers would say, "Where is she?" and if the son is missing the parents will look for him. Why? Since there is this adhesive agent of heavenly principle, it can never be cut off. It only stretches. Nobody can cut it off.
“Whenever I see children I see hope. Children represent hope, joy, innocence, purity, harmony and love. We want to be like our children. Jesus said that unless we receive the Kingdom of Heaven as children we can never enter it. Of course as parents we give birth to children, but they are our teachers; we must learn from them.”
-Rev. Young Hwi Kim, Guidance for Heavenly Tradition
On Asking Questions:
“Asking creates relationships.”
- Andrew Sobel
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”
- Matthew 7:8
“The scientist is not a person who gives the right answers, he's one who asks the right questions.”
― Claude Levi-Strauss
“Underlying great doubt there is great satori (sudden enlightenment), where there is thorough questioning there will be thoroughgoing experience of awakening.”
- Hakuin Ekaku Japanese Zen Buddhism
ATTENTION GRABBER
Family Tree: Show photos of your family tree. 3 generations or more!
INTRODUCTION
Did you know that your parents thought about you before you were even born? They prayed for you and conceived you with a lot of love! The chance that YOU were born- is so special! Your dad has millions of little sperm swimming around in his body and they compete to meet your mom’s egg. Out of all the little sperms racing- 1 made it! And your dad’s sperm and your mom’s egg connected and started creating YOU. After nine months of growing in your mother’s womb, you were born.
Your parents created you and love you beyond measure! They also didn’t know what to expect! What would your personality be like? Would you be shy, outgoing? Would you be silly and energetic? Or creative and intellectual? What would you look like? Without knowing any of these answers, your parents have loved you unconditionally from the start and they always will!
Today, we will share together about the special parent-child bond you share.
*LEARNING MOMENT- READ TOGETHER:
God, our Heavenly Parent, created us to live, love and grow within a family unit. Isn’t that beautiful? God designed humankind in such a special way. He didn’t design us to be alone- but together. When a husband and wife come together in love- they create you- making them parents, which creates a family unit! God’s love wants to dwell in your home and in your family. God gave us our family as a school of love.
When you were little, you may have looked up to your parents like they were invincible superheroes! Dad is so strong, can carry kids, open any jar and be goofy like no other. Mom is so loving, can do 20 things at once and can make any booboo go away!
Share together taking turns: What’s something you always loved about your dad when you were little? How about your mom?
As you grow up, your relationship with your parents changes and evolves over time. They will always be your parents and you will forever be their child but the way you relate to each other will grow and blossom through the years. Right now you’re in your Elementary years- discovering yourself and your boundaries and desires in new ways, as you go to school, make friends and try new hobbies. You may encounter new words and phrases. You will have more questions as you discover more in the world around you.
As you learn more things and acquire more questions- who do you think God would want you to go to and ask your questions to? Of course going straight to God would be awesome! And you can definitely do that through prayer. But God also gave us our parents as mediators! God can even speak to you through your parents. If you listen with your heart you will be surprised what you may hear. So when you hear a new word at school, a new concept, or something that is confusing, intriguing or even a new topic that makes you uncomfortable- remember you can always ask your parents. It is so important to go to your mom and dad as you grow and encounter new situations.
The older you get, the more potential there is for deepening conversations with your mom and dad. As you gain new experiences and attain more knowledge- your parent child relationship will grow! But it’s up to you as children to take initiative to go up to mom and dad and ask them the questions on your mind. (Such as: Why do boys and girls kiss on tv? Why do I have to go to school? What's with all these changes in my body? Why do I sometimes feel ____? etc.)
For Parents: (And it’s up to you the parent- to be there for your child and attentive to their needs. To be seeking out opportunities for conversations and to be ready to discuss topics you may not have expected! Remember as a parent, having the right answer is not the most important part- you may not even always know the answer and that’s ok. It’s ok to say “That’s a great question, I’ll have to get back to you on that one.” Having the discussion and sharing together- is what your child will remember. Being listened to and feeling safe to come to you- that’s what he or she will remember. That’s what matters most.)
“The scientist is not a person who gives the right answers, he's one who asks the right questions.”
― Claude Levi-Strauss
So today School of Love challenges you! We challenge you (the child) to ASK AWAY! What’s been on your mind and heart? Is there a question you have? Something you’ve heard about from a friend or saw on a show that you don’t understand? All questions are welcome. Don’t be afraid. This is an opportunity to seek understanding together. To be real and open and honest with your parents. To grow closer together as a school of love. Here we go...
DISCUSSION
We encourage you to watch some of the videos, read some of the articles listed below and engage in further discussion. Discuss any or all of the questions in any order:
How do you feel?
Why is it good to ask questions?
How does asking questions help build your relationships?
Is there something new you’ve heard recently that is confusing or interesting to you that you want to understand more? What is it?
Is there something new you’ve been hearing about that makes you uncomfortable? What is it? Let’s share about it together.
Child- what questions do you have for your parents? Parents- what questions do you have for your child?
Parents- What was your relationship with your own parents like as a child? What do you appreciate about your parent-child bond when you were a kid? What do you wish you did differently?
CONCLUSION
God gave us our parents to be our first teachers! So don’t be afraid to ask questions- seek and you shall find. If you don’t understand something or you hear something new- ask your parents! Believe it or not, they were once a kid just like you! And they asked their parents many of the same exact questions. Over the years, your relationship with your mom and dad will go through changes, ups and downs and continue to grow and evolve. Remember, your parents are always here for you. They created you and love you unconditionally. They think you are the most amazing thing in the universe!
PRAYER
Dear God, thank you for giving us the gift of a parent-child relationship! We are so grateful. Though we may not always be perfect at it and fall short at times, we want to do our best to appreciate and invest in our relationship. Please bless us and encourage us to seek out answers by asking questions. Guide us and be with us as we grow and learn in our childhood. We love you and thank you for showing us your parental love through our own parents.
Use these activities together with your child today and over the next month to create ongoing conversations. Click on the links:
VIDEOS
CRAFTS
Picture Frame: Create a picture frame together. Print and glue in a photo of you together!
Parent & Child Journal: Start a parent and child journal that you decorate together.
Photoshoot: Do a photoshoot to recreate photos of your parent’s childhood.
GAMES
Board Game: Bust out your favorite family board game and make time to play it together.
Obstacle Course: Create an outdoor family fun obstacle course together!
20 Questions game
2 Truths and a Lie (common game for 3rd -5th graders)
Table Topics: You could buy one here or create your own! Choose a small ox and fill it with index cards. On each card, write fun questions that you would like to take turns answering in a family setting. After making the box, you can take it out to use over meals or during connection time. You can always add in new conversation starters at anytime!
EXPERIENCES
Share Highs and Lows- Happy parts and sad parts of your day, the whole family shares, also called roses and thorns
Childhood Photos: Parents share some photos of you as a kid!
Special outing: Plan a special Father & Son or Mother & Daughter outing. Then, plan a special Father & Daughter or Mother & Son outing or experience.
Recreate special memories from when you were a kid that you did with your parents:
Favorite tradition
Favorite game
Grandparent interview: If you’re lucky to be able to experience 3 generations in your family, interview your Grandparents! ASK them ANY questions that come to your mind! Record it if possible. (or a parent interview)
PARENT RESOURCES
SOL “Parent-Child” Parent Blog- coming soon