Updated: Feb 24
Youth Ages 11-14. Understanding God's Plan for Attraction.
*Note- This lesson includes a lot of activities, mini lessons and application. Feel free to spend an evening together on the entire lesson or spread it out into several mini conversations throughout the month.
Understand God’s design for attraction. Everything in Creation is made in pairs
with a magnetic force that brings them together.
THINK. FEEL. DO.
My pre-teen will be able to: Understand God’s plan for attraction,
will feel acceptance for their natural desires,
and will become more comfortable to openly share their feelings with me.
A flower with pronounced stamen and pistil parts, like a daffodil or tulip.
Knife or tweezers.
Optional: magnifying glass, science goggles, magnets
Read the scriptures and share about what it means to you
“The created world resembles God’s characteristics. All created things exist as the divided forms of His dual characteristics, and they are connected to their counterparts... What is the purpose underlying all these relationships within this kind of environmental system? The answer is that the world of creation moves with love as its purpose.”
- Sun Myung Moon
"How beautiful you are, my darling, How beautiful you are! Your eyes are like doves." "How handsome you are, my beloved, And so pleasant! Indeed, our couch is luxuriant!
-Song of Solomon 1:15-16
Attention Grabber with a real life object
EXPLORE A FLOWER: Remove the sepals and petals. Cut open the flower along the length of the stem. Observe the long tubes with pollen at the ends, the male parts of the flower. In the center is a longer tube that is usually sticky at the end, the pistil, or female part of the flower. Open up the bulge at the base of the flower, the flower’s ovary and you’ll see what looks like little eggs. Bees pollinate flowers by transferring pollen from the stamen to the pistil as they collect the nectar. This enables the flower to produce seeds for the next generation.
ALTERNATIVE: Watch a Video: Dissection of a Hibiscus Flower
Attraction is a part of God’s design. It is natural to have an attraction. (Parent- share what parts of your spouse you are attracted to- such as their eyes, smile, curves, their sincerity, humor, confidence...) Be open and honest, it’s ok if your preteen gets squeamish. What a great example of true love it is when dad thinks mom is sexy! Ask the child: What kinds of features are you naturally attracted to in someone? (physical features + internal features). (If your child is too shy to tell you, have them write it down in a private journal.)
BREAK THE ICE:
Leading off with a visual, popular reference
A simple flower is more complex than you might think! Isn’t it amazing how God planned the miracle of life to go on forever through reproduction by male and female coming together? If you look around at Creation at the plants and animals, you can observe a magnetic force of attraction. It’s the same with us humans, right?
Read the script and watch together
If Your Kid Likes Science... It is the nature of the universe that things tend to exist in pairs and are attracted to one another. Through studying science we see that even at the most basic level, positively charged protons and negatively charged electrons make up atoms through their mutual attraction. The smallest Atoms have a charge that attracts them to other atoms of opposite charge to form molecules. DNA, the building block of life, is composed of two complementary strands- each strand has what the other lacks, so they need each other. Plants have stamen and pistil. Animals have male and female partners. Most importantly, God made humans in His image, male & female He created them.
For All… Just like the strong pull of 2 magnets attracted to each other, you are naturally pulled to someone that you find attractive. Do you remember your first crush? What was he or she like? What kinds of feelings were going through your heart, brain and body? (Parent- feel free to share about your first crush) Maybe there’s someone you’re thinking about right now:
For Guys… You’re attracted to her flowing hair, beautiful smile, voluptuous body. You see her walk down the hall, like a model on a runway, hair blowing in the wind. She draws you in. Every time you speak with her you can’t help but grin.
For Gals… You’re attracted to his eyes, his kindness, the way he makes you laugh, how he looks when he takes off his shirt in gym class on the way to the locker room. The way he admires you and makes you feel beautiful and special.
For All… You naturally fantasize about holding hands, slow dancing, kissing, caressing each other. You want to feel the magic of touch creating an electric shock wave through your body. You want to be held and feel safe and loved. You want to explore all the “bases” of love. You can’t focus in class or get anything done in study hall because you’re just daydreaming about that special someone. And it’s okay. God made you this way. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Your hormones will continue to roar and you will continue to want someone to fulfill you physically, emotionally, spiritually. Please know that I will never look down on you for this and I’m always here for you to share those feelings with. I want to be a part of your journey and experiences and be there for you in your journey to true love. And believe it or not, I went through it too. ;)
It is completely natural and a beautiful part of God’s Creation. God created us to come together as husband and wife in love and form a beautiful family. Love is the most beautiful, magnetic and powerful force in existence. To experience God’s design for love and sex to the fullest potential, you’ll want to follow God’s plan saving yourself for that special someone that God is preparing for you right now. He or she is out there somewhere waiting for you too. I know it’s hard facing your crushes each day and resisting temptation. But purity is a beautiful thing. One day you will share intimate moments like all the ones you daydream about with your special someone and it’s going to be magical and so worth waiting for. It will be the most powerful magnet of attraction you’ve ever experienced.
Take a moment to have your teen write down their reaction to the lesson experience so far. Use writing prompts if you like.
Creative Writing Prompts:
ATTRACTION: draw or write about what kinds of things you’re attracted to. What do you find beautiful? Colors, smells, things in nature and people.
ME: What kind of person do you want to become? What kind of magnet do you want to be? What are the qualities that you hope to develop that will attract others to you?
LOVE SONG: Write a love song or poem. Ideas: What loves means to you, waiting for love, God’s design for true love.
Let your child try and answer first while you listen. Then share your heart, your answers,
with your child. Use as many questions as you like to help guide your conversation.
What was your favorite part of today’s lesson? What could you relate to?
What stood out to you?
Why do you think God created us to be attracted to the opposite sex?
What kind of qualities do you want to develop in yourself to become an attractive person to others?
Why do you think it’s worth it to wait for true love with your future spouse?
Do you have any questions for me?
Love makes the world go round - lyrics to an old song! But it’s true - without the power of attraction, there would be no world. It’s a powerful and necessary force like gravity. God designed us to be together in pairs and it’s beautiful. I know you will experience attraction, crushes and strong physical urges as you grow into a young woman or young man. Know it’s natural, that I’m here for you always and that I’m so proud of you as you navigate this powerful force of love, knowing one day you will experience true love and sex in a committed blessed marriage.
Pray together offering up the lesson on Natural Attraction. Thank God for attraction, for love, beauty, procreation. Ask God for patience, wisdom and strength as your child navigates the power of attraction. Pray for God’s protection and thank God for your beautiful son or daughter that He’s created and for your future son or daughter in law that you know is out there waiting too.
Use these activities together with your child over the next month to create ongoing conversations on God's special design for male and female. Click on the blue links!
The Sperm & Egg- A Hero’s Journey -Animation by School of Love
Animals that Mate for Life -Nat Geo Wild
How do Flowers Grow from Seeds? - Miles Rose
MINUTE TO WIN IT: Play some "love" themed family minute to win it games together! Valentines Minute To Win It Games
MAGNET RACE: Place some paper clips on top of a thin surface. Move the paper clips by positioning a magnet under the table. Attach one paper clip to a magnet and see if you can make a chain - compete to see who can make the longest chain! Observe the power of attraction!
PARENT & CHILD DANCE: Have a fun dance moment together like a daddy daughter dance. Use this song & enjoy! Dads, treat your daughter like a princess. Moms, teach your son how to be a gentleman. L.O.V.E. lyric video by Michael Buble
ROM COM: Watch a romantic comedy classic together. (One you’ve seen before). Discuss about it together after. The parts you liked and what you didn’t like, the parts you’d like to apply in your future and the parts you’d rather not. Share your excitement as a parent to one day see your child glowing in love when they are mature and ready in God’s timing.